It's okay to not be okay in all things academic.
In chapter 5 of Brookfield's The Skillful Teacher, he normalizes the emotional and psychological phenomenon of impostership as well as discusses ways of working to dissipate it within both teachers and students.
I currently have multiple students who struggle with overcoming their feelings of being an imposter in academia.
I've noticed that the common denominator between all of them is that they each are older adults returning back to academia after an extended period away. They all have the weight of older adult responsibilities to simultaneously deal with such as job instability, moving on after escaping an abusive marriage, young children to care for, adjusting to civilian life as a retired veteran, etc.
They've already gone through heady matters in life and are choosing to pursue higher education. They want to have the tools and increased capacity to better their life circumstances.
As Brookfield elaborates, my students probably
"-think privately that they don't really deserve to be taken seriously as competent professionals because they know that they're doing their best to muddle through the day, week, or semester without falling flat on their faces" (pg.57).
I also 100% fall into this category of secretly-an-imposter. I'm a muddler. I'm an adult whose had some of the roughest months of her family's life occur simultaneously to me doing this student teaching. It's all I can do to scrounge up content to post on a weekly basis. All of my teaching plans and schedules and hopes for running a nicely organized, well rubric'd course flew out the window early on in the semester. Approaching teaching on a week-by-week basis has me feeling like I am not doing enough, providing enough, am enough for my students.
On top of that, some students still mistakenly call me professor- a title which I have not earned- but I technically inhabit the role of for them.
Facing the Feelings
Reading this chapter though has brought me some comfort. I'm not alone in this situation. And what I've been doing in my virtual classroom to balance out the events that flare my impostership are in line with Brookfield's strategies to cope with and overcome the feelings of impostership.
Brookfield is blunt with his problem-solving suggestion: "make the phenomenon [of impostership] public" (pg.59). In doing so, both a teacher and a student (or the whole class) will come to realize that they aren't alone in feeling out this experiential phenomenon.
While I haven't outright told my class "HEY EVERYONE, I'M ONE STEP AWAY FROM BEING A FRAUD" I am open and honest with them about how the realities of life impact how I'm handling the course. My students are informed if I'm sick and need to push back due dates, I apologize for not uploading things on time, and I empathize and talk to them about difficult events that are occurring in their lives too. Impostership stems from a fear of not meeting personal ideals of perfection...so I actively combat this by (appropriately, depending on situational context) voicing my recognized mistakes and areas needing improvement.
I basically try to embrace and demonstrate that it's okay to be fallible as long as you keep trying.
Normalizing and Being Flexible for Fallibility
I make it overly clear that I GET IT. Their personal lives are complicated, their personhood and health is important, and sh** happens. I won't penalize any of my students for having to pivot and adapt to their personal life circumstances (such as a death in the family, catching a rough bout of Covid-19, or agonizing over a textbook on backorder). I'm honest and open and because of this, my students are honest and open too. And, most importantly, they trust me.
I treat each student the way I want to be treated too: with respect and space for vulnerability. I understand their impostership because I'm right there in the metaphorical boat with them.
For an example of how I facilitate anti-imposter emotional moments, as long as a student contacts me before an assignment is due to tell me it's going to be late and their reason why, I don't penalize for lateness. Many students have taken appropriate advantage of this policy I've adapted. It's worked out really well!
First, Students inform me of their personal life conflict either through text or email and ask for an extension.
Second, I empathize with them and provide support to show them that their struggles aren't making their stance as a student any less valid. I've told a few "I get it! Health and family are priority and should be put first."
Lastly, students give me regular updates about how the assignment's progression is going as well as letting me know when they do get the assignment submitted.
Flexibility and open communication has allowed me to empower some of my students to overcome the worst of their feelings of impostership. And because of my students connecting with me as another human being dealing with relatable human things, I've been able to pivot away from feeling like an imposter professor and am trying to better embrace my true role as a student-teacher.
I'm learning too, and that's okay to be open about.
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